Displaying items by tag: abortion recovery

One of "those" people

ashamedA pregnant woman called the ARIN CARE Line one evening at 11:30pm.  She had found our website on the Internet and was calling to schedule her first abortion recovery counseling appointment.  Oddly enough, she had not yet ended her pregnancy. She was scheduled for an abortion the next day! My skin got goose bumps when she said....

“I know I’m going to need some help. After the procedure tomorrow, I’ll be one of ‘those people!’”

I lovingly explained to her, that I too was one of those people! That actually there were quite a few of us! It seemed to bring her comfort when I summarized just who we ALL were....

Those People Are...

Those people, I explained, are the women, men, siblings, grandparents, and extended family who have chosen an abortion in the past, or been associated with someone who has. Those people are your neighbors down the street, your pastor or his wife, your nephew's teacher, or your son's coach. Those people are your daughter's best friend, your work-out buddy at the gym, your grandmother or friend from school. You're eating lunch with those people at work, studying the Bible with them at church, watching them on TV, listening to them on a CD, or seeing them run for public office. They are those whom you’d never predict would make a choice like abortion.

Those people are individuals who chose abortion when it was legal, or when it was illegal. Either way, those people were deceived into thinking it was the ONLY way out of an unplanned or medically challenged pregnancy. Then realizing, it was too late! Those people ARE EVERYWHERE!  And they are suffering in silence around the world!  WHY?  Because they are too ashamed and too frightened that they will be classified as "those people" when they ask or search for help. I thanked her for calling and for reaching out.

Looking Within...

When people, affected by abortion, have physical or spiritual complication we often don't know how to reach out to them as a pregnancy center, society, church or even as a family member. Unfortunately, those who made a "poor choice," don't often know what to do themselves when their world seems to be crashing down around them. ONE abortion, through a rippling effect, can touch as many as 40 people throughout a lifetime.

Some of those affected may choose to do nothing, stuck in denial for years!  Others may take a courageous step and seek outside help!  

What do we do when approached by the post-abortion client?  How do we treat them?  Do we grant them complete compassion or quietly scold them with contempt?  So we lash out in passive aggressive anger?  Or reach out in Christ-centered love? Do we grieve with them differently than a family who mourns a child lost to miscarriage or stillbirth?

Hmm… something we should think about...

Do our volunteers know how to speak to the client who has an abortion in their past? Are our websites friendly to those clients? Or does our web presence create additional triggers and sensitivities that would further push those hurting away? Have all of our staff, who have experienced an abortion, completed an abortion recovery program? Do we promote a "recovery first" position? 

Let’s work together to make it easier and more acceptable for people to get the healing they need. Let’s make it safe to talk with them at school, at church, at home and even within our families. Okay... but HOW Stacy?

We can start by making sure our physical buildings and web presence is a gift to those who ache from a past choice. WE can be the one person who opens our arms, our hearts and our centers to welcoming those people who just might need our unconditional acceptance. We, at ARIN, wish to help! Our goal for 2013 is to have every pregnancy center reaching out to individuals and families impacted by a previous choice.

ARINAbortion Recovery InterNational (ARIN) has been honored to partner with Heartbeat for the past 10 years. Our affiliates, many Heartbeat affiliated themselves, minister to approximately 40,000 post-abortion clients each year through our CARE Directory and CARE Line. Many of those hurting found our CARE Directory through the Option Line web-link. Many journey through a recovery program and then go on to receive further healing through our Recovery Encore brochure and website.

With the passing of certain legislature and the upcoming 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we expect the number of those affected by abortion will greatly increase. We need your help to care for those wounded. If your center provides after abortion support, we'd appreciate sending clients your way. Please drop us an email here: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Whether you have an active abortion recovery program, need some help bringing yours up-to-speed or are prayerfully considering starting one; we are more than happy to help get YOUR program and center ready for ready for the individuals and families impacted by abortion. Phone consultations, center walkthrough, literature and web reviews are all something we enjoy doing to help pregnancy centers, medical clinics and other counseling agencies open their doors, and hearts, to the client who’s abortion affected.

"Abortion Recovering International, Inc. has been a HUGE help in getting our abortion recovery program and website up and running. We were really having a hard time trying to decide if we should renew our membership with ARIN because we felt like we were not getting any response from people needing help. However, ARIN helped us see that there were women seeking help but our approach and website was not "welcoming" to them. ARIN offered a lot of valuable information as well as their time to help us know what direction to go. I am so glad we decided to renew our membership!" 

       ~ Melissa Howard, Sound Recovery, GA

Our goal is for those people impacted by abortion is to find personal peace for their heart, mind, soul and spirit. We’d love to help YOU reach those hurting in your community!

Just One of Those People, Who is Divinely Forgiven...

Stacy Massey

President / Founding Partner Abortion Recovery InterNational, Inc. - arininc.org
CARE Directory and CARE Line - abortionrecovery.org
Recovery Encore - recoveryencore.org

A Generation Lost

“What is this book, G,” my oldest granddaughter asked from her seat behind me in the car.

My heart dropped. I’d forgotten I’d left some of my Surrendering the Secret books in a basket on the floorboard of my car. As a brand new reader, she grabbed everything with writing on it to test out her newfound skill.

“It has your name on it. Did you write this, G?”

“Yes, I did, it’s a Bible Study.”

“Can we read it?”

“Yes, someday I’ll read it to you, beautiful girl”

Oh my. Someday, I will have to talk to my precious, adorable granddaughter about my abortion. Someday, I will have to tell her about my sin, my loss, and my restoration through Jesus. Someday, but not today.

She is only 8 years old.

It has been 40 years since abortion on-demand became the law of the land in the United States, after the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 in favor of the plaintiff in Roe v. Wade. In those 40 years, 55 million unborn American babies have become fatalities of abortion.

The Bible places particular significance on the number 40. The pages of Scripture are filled with events and people whose stories are marked off by that number, which represents a generation.

Consider Moses and the Israelites, who wandered 40 years in the wilderness just outside of the Promise Land, until the old, rebellious generation was gone and a new generation arose to take its place.

What a humbling concept, as we consider the shedding of innocent blood—which God hates (Proverbs 6:17)—that has been legally endorsed over the past 40 years. America has lost nothing less than a generation.

For my part, I am missing a daughter, along with nieces and nephews, precious children of friends and friends I’ll never know because they were never allowed to take a breath on this earth.

A Surrendered LifeLittle did I know the devastation and loss of innocent life that would be the result of my articles, petitions, and politics. Little did I know that my own ignorance and selfishness would lead me to opt for abortion.

Little did I know that my own precious firstborn daughter would be one of those lost lives. Little did I know that someday, I would have to share that story with my own granddaughter.

As we pass this life-changing 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade on January 22, 2013, I am still passionate, vocal, and pro-choice. However, this time, my Pro-Choice message declares the words of Deut 30:19:

I have set before you life and death—choose life so that you and your children may live.

I am now counting on a new promise, found in Revelation 12:11, which assures me that we Christians conquer even our worst enemies—even Satan himself—by “the blood of the Lamb and by the word of (our) testimony.”

It has become my life’s passion and calling to do all I can to protect and defend the next generation. To hear more of my story, please check out my new book, A Surrendered Life, releasing January 22, 2013.

Maybe I will read it to my granddaughter. Someday.

Pat Layton,
Author Surrendering the Secret
SurrenderingTheSecret.com

Abortion Recovery

If you have a heart for the ministry of abortion recovery, then you share the Lord’s desire to see women and men healed and restored from an abortion experience.

Abortion creates trauma. Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS) is the condition occurring in both men and women after the abortion experience due to unresolved psychological and spiritual issues. PAS is actually a form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a commonly recognized condition that often follows traumatizing events such as witnessing an act of violence or experiencing a natural disaster. Patterns of long-term emotional disorder include: depression, grief, anxiety, helplessness, despair, sorrow, lowered self-esteem, distrust, hostility, dependency on alcohol/chemicals/food/work, guilt, sexuality problems, self-condemnation, weeping, emptiness, distrust, frustration, insomnia, nightmares, dysfunctional relationships, flashbacks, anger, fear of rejection, bitterness, un-forgiveness, fear of commitment, and the inability to form close relationships.

Theresa Burke, PhD, founder of Rachel's Vineyard and co-author with David Reardon of Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion says the following:

"Post-abortion healing is a specialty unto itself. The average psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker or counselor of any other academic stripe who does not understand post-abortion issues can often inflict more harm than good on the unsuspecting woman. Many may believe they have enough insight to help, but unless they have had additional training, they often don't. Certainly, if your thoughts and feelings become so overwhelming that you feel you can no longer cope, seek professional assistance immediately. But generally, I encourage you to take the time to find one of the growing numbers of professional therapists and experienced lay counselors who have received special training in post-abortion healing."

Abortion Recovery helps individuals overcome the emotional trauma and spiritual issues experienced after an abortion. Workshops and programs are usually free and are available through local pregnancy help centers, churches and national organizations. Abortion recovery programs should address the following to help participants heal from an abortion experience; grief, guilt, anger, depression, fear, un-forgiveness, shame and defense mechanisms. Teaching on the love, mercy and grace of God should also be included so that healthy reconciliation can occur.

If you desire to start a workshop or group, you can be very effective in serving as a facilitator with the appropriate training and preparation.

Here are some thoughts to keep in mind if you decide to start an abortion recovery program.

  • Understand the regret of abortion touches people deeply – emotionally and spiritually.
  • Choose yourself to participate in an abortion recovery program to receive and/or confirm healing for any past abortion regret.
  • Commit to be non-judgmental.
  • Be able to facilitate participants’ movement towards goals while recognizing that person’s healing process involves their own commitment to the process.
  • Have a desire to serve and minister to others (not looking for recognition or for fulfillment of personal needs).
  • Be able to create a healthy balance between caring for the group members and limitsof responsibility for someone else’s actions.
  • Be eager to learn and to realize that everyone is at a different place on their emotional and spiritual journey.

Recommended Heartbeat Resources

Click here for a listing of Abortion Recovery Resources available. 

If you’ve experienced an abortion or participated in the decision-making process, you may be struggling. Click here for resources available to help.

Please contact ministry services for further assistance at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

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