Displaying items by tag: for the heart

by Danielle White, Esq.
General Counsel, Heartbeat International

I would love to say that I was watching live when Amy Coney Barrett delivered her speech accepting President Trump’s nomination for her to fill the vacant Supreme Court seat. But I was not. As a mother of three kids under the age of five, I am pretty sure I was mediating an argument over the Buzz Lightyear toy, or negotiating with my three-year-old how many bites of green beans it takes to be “done,” or maybe I was advocating on behalf of my one-year-old, who just got birthday toys that her siblings are convinced are theirs for the taking.

Mediating, negotiating, advocating – incidentally, three lawyer skills that translate quite well to raising small humans.

Anyway, I was not watching live. But I did not miss it. When my three angels were snuggled up, asleep in their beds, I tuned in to hear what Justice – er, Judge (sorry, Freudian slip) Barrett said. And I listened a couple times.

This nomination means a lot to me. It is not just momentous for the potential shift it represents in the Court, though I would be remiss to gloss over the tremendous impact that a Justice Barrett could have on our nation’s highest Court. As she emphasized in her acceptance speech, Barrett is an originalist in the mold of Justice Scalia. She believes that a judge’s job is to read the law as it is written, and not “legislate from the bench” or stretch the interpretation of the law to make it fit her own policy preferences.

Since the constitution never utters the word “abortion” or the “privacy” notion on which our abortion cases are founded, a judge with an originalist judicial philosophy is certainly a cause for hope for the only group of persons in this nation who are systematically deprived of their most basic right - simply to be alive. Judge Barrett has the potential to make a serious impact on the way cases are decided.

Yet, there is something personal about this nomination. To me, Judge Barrett represents something deeper, an affirmation of an idea around which I have, at least to some extent, built my life: that women can be both great moms and extraordinarily successful in their careers and other endeavors. That women need not choose between their children and their aspirations. That motherhood is anything but a waste of women’s talents and need not be an impediment to her success, but actually a complement.

My life as a mom of small kids and as General Counsel for Heartbeat has meant many things! Several years ago, I traveled to Washington DC to attend a Supreme Court oral argument in a case for which I was privileged to submit an amicus brief. The very next day, I was home, rocking my sweet daughter to sleep and snuggling her close. These days, especially in the era of COVID, it is not unusual for me to attend Zoom meetings with a toddler on my lap and the Five Little Ducks video on my spare screen to keep her quiet.

It is not always easy – sometimes I am up long after the kids go to bed, working to put the finishing touches on a contract or trying to get my email down to a dull roar.

But it is so worth it, and I am not alone! One does not have to look far (in the pro-life movement in particular) to see tons of rock star moms who stand alongside mothers whose situations may be challenging, offering support, encouragement, and resources. Or advocating for other babies while taking care of her own.

And we watch in bewilderment as the pro-abortion side, the group that claims to be all about women’s empowerment, proclaims that women “need” abortion so that they can be successful in life. This is the least empowering message. We watch in frustration while the media refers to abortion as “women’s rights,” ignoring the fact that the majority of pro-lifers are, in fact, women. But most of all, we watch in sadness when prominent members of our culture proclaim that they had abortions so that they could be successful.

The pregnancy help movement in particular is the mission field that works to support those in challenging pregnancy situations, because we know that women’s futures don’t end where their babies’ lives begin.

And for me, the change on our nation’s highest Court from Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Amy Coney Barrett is a tangible example of that. Barrett was not wrong when she credited the late Justice Ginsburg for her contributions to improving the lives of women in this country. But her legacy will be forever stained by her belief that women’s success depended on the right to end the lives of their unborn children. She only got it partially right: Success for women, but at the cost of motherhood.

As the first Supreme Court justice ever to serve while her children are still school-aged, ACB represents those of us who refuse to believe we must pit our children against our careers. Success and motherhood. That’s progress.

So take heart, Amy. There is a caravan of minivan moms who are inspired by your achievements and empowered to embrace the challenges that working motherhood presents – and all, as you so poignantly remarked, without any reasonable amount of sleep.

Image: The moment was captured in a screen grab by Marina Medvin

Join Heartbeat International in signing a letter of support and praying for Judge Amy Coney Barrett as her confirmation hearings draw near.

Introduction by Jor-El Godsey, President
Heartbeat International

The pandemic revealed something we already knew, pregnancy help is an essential service even in the face of severe community upheaval. Serving in the heart of one of those communities facing major upheaval, is First Image in Portland, Oregon.  For the better part of four decades now this Heartbeat affiliate has been a harbor of life-saving ministry and lighthouse impacting the culture with Kingdom love.

In this particular season, the leadership team of First Image, led by Rev. Larry Gadbaugh, penned a worthy call to their team – staff, board, and supporters – in how to respond to the present challenge:

Diversity, Unity, and First Image

The upheaval in our culture sparked by the police killing of George Floyd has ignited a movement around racial justice in our country and within the church in our city. The realities that have sparked this movement are not new, and at First Image, we have made some intentional efforts to learn and grow in this area over the years.

Before the current movement began, some of our leadership team had been building relationships with black Christian leaders in our city. We serve a diverse population, and we have known that in order to love our clients well, we need to understand their experiences, perspectives, and unique challenges. So, as a predominantly white organization in a predominantly white area of the country, we’ve asked these leaders what we don’t know. And we’re listening.

We’ve been reading recommended books, participating in listening sessions, and are continuing to build authentic relationships. As we engage, we see that we have more work to do.

In our strategic planning process earlier this year, we identified “fostering diversity” as a key element in long-term health and vitality, both to reflect the diverse vision of the kingdom of God, and to better represent and serve our clients.  Fostering diversity sounds nice, but the reality is that we have work to do in order to make First Image a place where we can have true unity in diversity. We believe that Jesus Christ is reconciling all things to himself and calls us to join in the ministry of reconciliation (1 Cor. 15). The work of true reconciliation is deep and it is hard, because it requires us to believe that there is something that’s broken, which needs restoration.

How will we be going about this work at First Image? Here are 4 things we will be practicing during this season and in an ongoing way:

Rooted in the Word of God: We believe that the scriptures are the revelation of God and the grounding of our growth in Jesus. They are also the mirror that helps us to see what we do not see naturally. They leave no stone unturned and call us to the deepest kind of love. The voices we’ll be learning from and engaging with will be rooted in The Word.

Listening: We will continue to build relationships with local Christian leaders of color and we will actively seek to listen and learn from them, to move beyond our own echo chambers. The book and resource recommendations we will be working through together in the coming months are coming directly from those leaders.

Lament: We will not be shy about empathizing with the pain of our neighbors created in the Image of God. The scriptures call us to weep with those who weep, and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). When part of the body tells us it is hurting, we will join it in its pain. As we think about our clients, we understand this intuitively. As our understanding of the experiences of people of color deepens, our lament will deepen as well. We will resist the temptation to harden our hearts in order to merely justify and protect the status quo.

Repentance: Jesus calls us to bear fruit in keeping with repentance (Luke 3:8). Listening and lamenting are not ends in themselves. They lead us to deeper repentance. Repentance is not just apology, it is going a new way. We will be actively looking for areas in our own hearts and within our organizational culture, practices and policies that need to be reformed in light of the things we continue to learn.

We realize that issues surrounding racism are politically explosive. At First Image, our aim is to go deeper and beyond the political categories to a Kingdom vision that sees and loves the people that God has called us to serve and serve alongside.

We will work to foster an open environment, where we can process together honestly, and where we maintain mutual respect and care for one another.

First Image has been raised up by God as a steward of his transforming grace and truth in Christ. We are embracing his ongoing work of transforming us together to more fully see and serve the diversity of the image of God in our mission, our churches, and our community.

All life-affirming Pregnancy Help Organizations (PHOs) grounded in faith in Christ can insert their organization name in place of First Image’s call for Unity with Diversity.

Recommended reading from Larry Gadbaugh:

• Oneness Embraced: Reconciliation, the Kingdom, and How We are Stronger Together – by Tony Evans
• Last Call for Liberty: How America's Genius for Freedom Has Become Its Greatest Threat, by Os Guinness
• Reappearing Church: The Hope for Renewal in the Rise of Our Post-Christian Culture, by Mark Sayers

by Jor-El Godsey, President
Heartbeat International

The Beatitudes, from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, are a list of characteristics He calls us to be as well as the spiritual reality of blessings that flow when we fulfill those characteristics. (Matthew 5)

Poor in spirit. Check.

Mourn. Check.

Meek. Check.

Hunger and thirst for righteousness. Check.

Merciful. Check.

Pure in heart. Check.

I say, “Check,” not because I’ve fully accomplished any of these, but I understand how they are to help me shape my internal person, and my outward effort. I check these as important things to work toward and embrace.

But then I run into the 8th blessing characteristic. Unlike the others, this one does not immediately focus on my inward nature and longing. Instead it invites actions from others. Others who stand against me. In fact, they actually insult and persecute me.

“Blessed are they that have been persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:11a 

Wait, what?!? I’m blessed when others insult, revile, mock, lie, and utter all kinds of evil against me falsely? (I’m borrowing from various bible translations to explore what “persecute” fully means.)

Of course these types of things are all very common at the big sports rivalry game each year. But not something I expect when we’re trying to help people choose the Gift of Life and the Giver of Life.

There are many examples in recent years of this very type of mocking, lying, insulting attack against the pregnancy help movement. We’ve documented attacks from NARAL, HBO’s John Oliver, Abortion Access Front (formerly known as Lady Parts Justice League), Texas Handmaids, medical groups, women’s marches, OpenDemocracy, and more.

But the very recent attack against Adirondack Pregnancy Center seem to advance Alinsky-styled tactics at the hands of the Democratic Socialists of America to keep this brand new pregnancy help harbor from even opening their doors. And they attempt to use their Heartbeat International connection to make some grander play. All in an effort to keep local women from having access to a choice besides abortion.

And there it is.

The work of the pregnancy help movement is all about the work of the Holy Spirit in championing the worth of the Gift of Life – for the mom and her baby and the family. It is every bit part of the Great Commandment to love and the Great Commission to go.

This is all for “righteousness’ sake.”

And that is where the blessing comes. When we, members of the pregnancy help movement, are persecuted for fulfilling the call of God to help her choose life, we partake in the blessing of the Cross. Jesus, Himself, was persecuted for righteousness’ sake so that He could conquer the death sentence of sin. And before Him, His prophets were persecuted for even carrying the message of life over death.

Why should we be different? In our way, we speak life to this generation. And they hate us, not unlike those of old hated Jesus (Jn 15:18).

We are blessed to have the gift of being persecuted for His name and His work. It does not make our work perfect, but it does mean our work’s goal is holy. Championing God’s Gift of Life is partnering with Him in a stand against today’s culture of death.

So take heart because the next verse (Matt 5:12) calls us to “Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven…”

Servants of Excellence

“Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house.” Luke 19:5B

Jesus would have been lousy at Instagram. While Jesus would have millions of followers, likes and shares on any social media site, something tells me He wouldn’t have spent much time trying to get the perfect photo to share or musing on creating a viral meme.

And when we look carefully at Jesus’ ministry, He never appeared interested in the big numbers. Instead, he almost always focused on the “one,” or only a few.

Yes, Jesus spoke to hundreds and even thousands, but we never see Jesus trying to pull together a crowd. There were no banners proclaiming, “Jesus to Speak on the Mount Today! Don’t Miss it!” If crowds showed up, Jesus didn’t turn them away. But most of Jesus’ most memorable moments took place with one person here, a small group there.

Think about it. Jesus chose just twelve disciples. Many others followed and were disciples as well, but Jesus zeroed in on just twelve. We see story after story of Jesus healing one blind man, only ten lepers, one boy possessed by a spirit, one centurion’s servant, one blind man, one man suffering from dropsy. We could go on—the list is long.

And Jesus’ stories? He told us of one lost sheep, one good Samaritan, one prodigal son and his relationship with one loving father.

Jesus spoke to one woman at a well, one curious Nicodemus, and called out for one Zaccheus, almost lost in a huge crowd.

Yes, Jesus fed thousands. He healed . . . who knows how many? But at His core, the good news Jesus talked about spread because of one here, one there. Because of Jesus’ focus on the “one,” He earned the trust and love of the thousands.

As we serve those we see, we likely wonder sometimes whether we’ve made much of a difference. One came in the other day and we’re not sure we reached her. Another made a life decision, but we can’t know for certain what her future holds. We wonder, is our work truly making a “big” impact?

Jesus knew how to make a “big” impact. He reached one here. Then, he walked for miles and reached one more. Then, another. And another. By doing so, He created a blueprint for us in the pregnancy help community—one we follow each day.

We don’t know if following this model will make us social media influencers or draw crowds of people desperate to hear us speak. But we do know this model is Jesus-inspired. And, regardless of whether we see instant results, connecting with the one brings God-sized results.

by Kirk Walden, Advancement Specialist
Heartbeat International

by Betty McDowell, Vice President of Ministry Services
Heartbeat International

Recently I came across the term “COVID Fatigue.” I am not talking about one of the many symptoms of coronavirus but rather a collective fatigue we all feel living through this pandemic. We are tired of lockdowns, masks, quarantines, social distancing, uncertainties, conflicting information, and many of us are feeling frustrated, isolated, fearful, restricted, and frazzled. Moreover, while many of us were hopeful in the spring, this has gone on longer than many of us have expected. At this point, many have given up saying, “when things get back to normal, we will …”

Woven into our COVID fatigue is the accumulation of loss. All of us have suffered loss through this time. Loss of incomes, jobs, vacations, family reunions, graduations, weddings, welcoming new babies, and for some of us the loss of relationships through death. During this time when funerals and gatherings are limited or postponed, even grief and closure can be put on hold. Let us be real, there have been moments when the temptation to slip into despair is difficult to overcome.

All that said, there are good things happening too. We don’t have to fall into, or even worse, live in despair. What we do need to do is find ways to live well today, and help our loved ones do the same.

Are you or someone you care about struggling today?

Below are some practical ways to address the struggle, mourn losses, and take steps to a better today:

Do not ignore the accumulative loss in your life. Take time to review your loss and bring these disappointments before God in prayer. Record loss in your journal where you can pour out your feelings and experiences – not only can this be therapeutic, but it can also provide a way to look back in your life to see how the Lord brought you through this difficult season.

Check your self-talk. If you find phrases in your self-talk like, “just give up,” “it’s not worth it,” “why bother,” “the best is over” or any other language in the despair category, BEWARE! We have a spiritual enemy who loves to take advantage of our fatigue and grief. Recognize that while we are in a pandemic we are also in a spiritual battle. Turn to God for strength, and do not surrender your heart.

Choose Gratitude. Gratitude and anxiety cannot co-exist. It’s true. Just try to be grateful and anxious at the same time – you cannot do it! Choose to kick out despair and live in gratitude. Focus on the blessings you have in the present moment and set your heart on the hope for a brighter future.

Tell yourself the truth. This is not the end of things. You are not alone. The pursuit of life and joy is still possible. God is in control. God has a plan and a purpose for you during this time and beyond.

Exercise. Even a short walk can help reset mind, soul, and body. Exercise can help relieve stress and release endorphins helping you feel better and contribute to your overall health.

Talk with friends, listen to worshipful music, memorize scripture, read inspiring books. Find that thing that helps bring you out of despair and dive into it. Take advantage of extra time to find those things that fill your heart. We’re all having to pour out a lot right now, but that only works if you are filling up.

Purposely choose hope. Vietnam POW Ken Cordier shares how he and his fellow prisoners placed bets on when their imprisonment would end. Several of the men placed their bets on upcoming holidays or birthdays. When those dates came, and their release had not come they became distraught and did not fare well as prisoners. Ken Cordier chose a date several years away. He decided he would hold out hope for a future and put his trust in God to get him through one day at a time. Ken purposely chose hope and so can you. You see, hope isn’t about expecting everything to be back to normal tomorrow. Hope is about trusting that God will sort it all out in His time.

And make no mistake, He will. You can depend on it.

I’ll leave you today with Psalm 46, a psalm I spent time reflecting on in my prayer time recently. Perhaps you can take time to sit with it in prayer today. After all, now is a time of opportunity to “Be still and know” who God is and how He can work.

^{Psalm 46 (NIV)
1} God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸ Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

The information in this article is accurate as of its publication date (December 9, 2020). We are working to keep our articles up-to-date as changes surrounding COVID-19 occur, and we encourage everyone to check the CDC, WHO and their local authorities as the situation is ever-evolving.

Servants of Excellence

So when the Samaritans came to Him, they were asking Him to stay with them; and He stayed there two days. John 4:40

The story of the Woman at the Well is familiar to all of us. We often think about this story in terms of Jesus reaching out to someone struggling in relationships and life in general. And we consider how Jesus chose this woman to reveal Himself as the Messiah.

It is a story of love, hope and new beginnings.

And, it is a story of a common-sense approach to racial reconciliation, a great need in our culture today.

The Woman at the Well was a Samaritan, and we know mainline Jews never talked to Samaritans. Upstanding Jews never traveled through Samaritan areas, never connected with Samaritans, had no place for them in their synagogues.

But Jesus cut through all of this, building a bridge of connection with five powerful actions.

1) Jesus Went out of His Way

Jews went around Samaritan villages, not through them. But Jesus made it his mission to go into Samaria and connect with the woman at the well.

2) Jesus Drew Her into Conversation

Starting with a simple request for water, Jesus engaged the Samaritan woman in conversation. He never judged, never pushed his opinion on her. He let her do as much talking as He—a great lesson for all of us.

3) Jesus Didn’t Take Sides

When the Samaritan woman tried to bring Jesus into a debate about theological issues (“You people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship”), Jesus didn’t take the bait. Instead, He focused on bigger issues (“An hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.”).

By not debating the smaller matter of where to worship, Jesus could zero in on the major issue--Who to worship. In doing so, Jesus opened the door for anyone—including the Samaritan woman—to join Jesus’ team.

4) Jesus Risked Transparency

When the Samaritan woman told Jesus she knew the “Messiah is coming,” Jesus didn’t hold back, sharing with her that He was the One she was looking for. Because we’re talking about Jesus, it’s easy to overlook: Jesus was taking a risk. She could have laughed at him. She could have argued with him. She could have walked away in dismissal, even if still wondering how Jesus found out about her background of having five husbands.

Because we know the rest of the story, we know she went to her city, proclaiming that she may have met the Messiah. Through her story, many followed Jesus. But it all started because Jesus was willing to risk sharing His identity.

5) Jesus Invested in the Community

The story of the Samaritan woman doesn’t end with her going back to her village. A few verses later we see the Samaritans asking Jesus to stay with them. Jesus moved quickly from place to place, but for two days—a long time for Jesus—he stayed in a land forbidden to Jews.

Simply put, Jesus stuck around to invest in the community. While there, “many believed because of His word.”

In today’s chaotic world, we can become overwhelmed with the news of the day, believing society’s problems are too big, too complex to solve. They aren’t.

As we serve those who come in our door, we know that—regardless of our color—we will serve those who don’t look like us or believe like we do. Differing backgrounds often create differing world views.

Jesus is our example for how we approach these situations. First, He went out of his way to find those different from Him. From there, He started a conversation, didn’t leap in to take a side when a tough subject came up, risked transparency . . . and He invested in a community which was not His own.

And, He changed the world.

by Kirk Walden, Advancement Specialist
Heartbeat International

by Jennifer Wright, Editor/Writer
Heartbeat International

It’s been a rough year so far, and this summer hasn’t really been one for traveling. Together, these make for a challenging time with those vacation days. What do you do when you can’t tell if Disney will be open or not?

For a lot of us, vacation might end up being at home this time. Fortunately, I’ve had a little bit of experience with staying home vacations and retreats. Here are a few things I’ve learned that I can share with you.

1) Take the time off.

It’s really easy if you are (or have been) working from home to never stop working. The first thing to make a vacation work, especially if it has to be a home, is to keep it from feeling like work.

Set aside a long weekend, a day, or even just a few hours to be completely off work. Don’t check emails, don’t answer office phone calls, don’t even text a coworker to check in. Use that vacation time!

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re going to be away for a while, you don’t need to make it impossible to reach you. If you are in a position where you might need to be aware of something right away, it’s reasonable to make yourself available, but do it in a specific way that doesn’t force you into a rabbit-hole of work emails and follow-ups. Give your coworkers a single way to contact you that you will be responding to, and stick to it.

2) Do something you never have time to do.

Once you’re out of a work mindset, it can be hard to find something to do. The temptation is to do something you already do in your off time. (For me, that means zoning out to Star Trek reruns.) But if all you do in your time off is something routine, there’s no vacation.

That park around the corner with all the hiking trails you never have time to explore? Take a day to explore the trails. The recipe you’ve always wanted to try, but it could take you 4 hours to make? Break it out. Those paints on the top shelf of the closet that you don’t get out because it makes a mess? Paint a picture. That book you haven’t picked up off the nightstand in months? Crack it open and read.

Do something that makes you feel creative, engaged, and alive.

3) Step away from the screens.

There are healthy ways to engage with the screens in our lives. We can connect with loved ones far away, watch tutorials on things we want to learn to do, communicate quickly and effectively, and more, but sometimes, we need to close them all down for a while and spend time elsewhere.

If your mini-vacation is a day, take 4 hours to be completely unplugged. If it’s a few days, see if you can take a full 12 hours. A week? Try just a few waking hours each day.

It doesn’t always have to happen all at once, but taking time out to be completely without the internet, the computer, the television, the smart phone, and the world of digital media, is more relaxing than you might imagine.

The impact of something as pervasive in our lives as screens is difficult to gage because we never get away from them. Spend a little time without screens, if for no other reason, to see how it makes you feel. I have found it to be incredibly refreshing.

4) Pray in a new way.

I don’t know what your daily prayer routine looks like, but I do know mine gets stale from time to time. That’s when I know I need to try something new. That’s when I’ll pray in a different space, with a new devotional book, or with a different approach.

Consider taking an hour for imaginative prayer. Read a passage from the Bible that you know well, but instead of reading it from afar, put yourself in the passage. Read Psalm 23 and imagine the table prepared before you by the Lord. Read the story of Christ’s death and imagine yourself at the foot of the cross. Read Acts of the Apostles and imagine yourself helping to build the early Church from scratch.

Or go somewhere new to pray. Take a walk to talk with God about creation. Make a new space in your home to sit, kneel, or stand in to pray. Light a candle. Add a piece of religious art (maybe even something you created yourself).

A new approach to prayer can send you back into the fray refreshed and reconnected with the things that really matter. And for me, that’s what I really want from a vacation – to feel ready to come back to where I was.

So that’s my plan for my summer vacation this year: take time off, do something out of the ordinary, unplug for a while, and pray in a new way. What will your vacation look like?

Servants of Excellence

And after that, He went out, and noticed a tax-gatherer named Levi, sitting in the tax office, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he left everything behind, and rose and began to follow him. - Luke 5:27-28

The calling of Matthew is as simple as it gets. In Luke’s account, Jesus is only passing by Matthew’s office when he says, “Follow me.” That’s it. From there, Matthew hops up and follows. Easy, right?

But wait a minute. Why did Matthew follow? No one this side of Heaven knows for sure.

We know only one piece of information on Matthew, that he was a tax collector. On the plus side, tax collecting was lucrative work, because tax gatherers like Matthew normally extracted more from the taxpayer than the owed amount. They kept the extra drachmas and denarii for themselves. This practice didn’t win friendships, but it certainly paid the bills.

by Joe Pellegrino, Legacy Minded Men

If you ask most folks in the states when Mother’s Day falls on the calendar, they can tell you, the second Sunday of May. But when you ask them the same question about Father’s Day most will have no idea and some might even say “is there still a Father’s Day???”

Dads have a bit of a perception problem these days. Maybe it's time that we start a paradigm shift. Why not offer a blessing to fathers this Father’s Day?

What is this thing called a blessing?

It’s not complex. It’s straightforward. It’s a word of approval or a word of support. It’s a word that bestows confidence, hope, and a sense of well-being. And brings affirmation. It’s a word that allows a young child, a woman or a man to move forward boldly, humbly, but with courage and confidence into the future. It’s a word that says, “You are a masterpiece that has been created for a unique purpose in this life.” It’s a word that helps our children, our family, our friends, and those we work with know they are valuable and fashioned for something special in this life. Finally, it’s a word that ADDS VALUE to another!

As a father myself, I can say while some of us have received a blessing, many of us have not. Several years ago at one of our men’s conferences, we gave a call for men to come forward who felt they had never experienced a blessing from their parents, family, or anyone, but particularly from their dads. To our amazement the majority of those present came forward - men from their teens to their 70’s.

When we see people who are excelling in life, regardless of their family’s financial or economic status, we often will find folks who come from a loving, supportive, encouraging family background that continually imparted words of blessing into their lives. They were told they could do anything in life they set their heart and mind to.

Studies have shown that many super successful people who even came from very difficult and distressed families and backgrounds made it in life because of the words of blessing spoken to them.

The men that walk in your doors with your clients may never have had such affirming words spoken to them. In fact, they may have heard nothing but discouraging, demeaning, and angry abusive words. Whatever the case may be, when you take the chance to offer them a blessing, they can learn to bless others as well.

Perhaps this is the way to help shift from Father’s Day to "Fathers Say." 

Men are being pulled in so many ways today that distract them from their primary roles as husbands and fathers. As a result, all too often, our children suffer. Now, more than ever, we need to understand the true role dads play in their children’s lives as our kids face a world we could never have imagined. What fathers SAY can determine their child's WAY. Let's turn everyday into "Fathers Say" by continually blessing and mentoring our children or a child in need. 

Offering a blessing to a father can create a ripple effect that gives them the inspiration to do the same for their children and families. This is what "Fathers Say" is all about – fathers stepping up to offer blessings to people in their lives. This is the power of an encouraging word! Who knows, it may even result in a re-launch of Father’s Day!

"Fathers Say" is a concept and book available from Legacy Minded Men. For more information, click here to find out how you can engage, equip, and encourage men to be the fathers and husbands they were made to be.

by Lisa Pinney, Pittsburgh Transformation Center

Those involved in the work of caring for the traumatized or struggling, often do not see the slow growing signs of secondary trauma (STS) in their own lives. We are so focused on the person in front of us that we forget to pay attention to our own needs. Among helping professionals, the risk for secondary trauma increases if we have our own unresolved trauma. The difficult stories we regularly listen to also increase the possibility for compassion fatigue.

Many times, friends and family will notice the changes before we do. Whether we are like the proverbial frog slowly being boiled, in denial or just others focused, the impact takes its toll on us, our families, and the important work we do.

What Others See

• sadness
• anger
• poor concentration
• difficulty in making decisions
• detachment
• emotional exhaustion
• absentee

What We Will Notice (even if we haven’t put the pieces together yet.)

• intrusive thoughts
• increasing anxiety
• difficulty sleeping
• wanting to withdraw
• numbing

If we do not want to be taken out of our callings prematurely, we must care for our whole being. Body, Soul, and Spirit.

There is so much out there in the way of self-care; but, like Paul, we do not always do what we should. I know I should take care of myself, but I do not. I know exercise reduces stress, but I hate to sweat. Our bodies tend to hold onto stress. That means we must find ways for our bodies to let go of the stress and trauma. Dr. David Bercelli developed Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (or TRE®). TRE is a somatic process. These sweat free exercises help release tension and calm down the nervous system all without having to revisit a negative event.

Stress and trauma are also held in our souls and emotions. As Americans we spend a lot of time in our heads. We can talk with a good friend that holds space for us. We can seek out a professional. Both options help us process and care for our precious emotions. Why do I say precious? Because they are the very tools God has given us to be able to be compassionate, empathic ministers to the hurting in their time of need.

Last and most important is caring for our spirits. We are spiritual beings housed in a body and soul. If our soul is overwhelmed, our spirits have a more difficult time being nourished. In addition to our regular devotions, we all need ongoing encounters with a loving God if we are going to be who God created us to be and work with the hurting.

As a certified encounter coach and owner of Pittsburgh Transformation Center, I help others with anxiety and unprocessed trauma. I have watched God bring peace and rest to the clients I serve, by healing soul wounds and meeting the emotional needs of their hearts. I watch clients breathe freely and witness the relaxing of shoulders as God speaks to their innermost man. Tears may flow which indicate a letting go of distressing emotions and confusion as God meets them in very personal ways. It is so life giving. In my opinion, these tools are essential for everyone. But they are especially needed for those with unresolved trauma.

Recently, I was in a conversation with a woman and expressed to her that the tools for both trauma and secondary trauma are different. Reading, worship, and prayer are essential, but with trauma you need additional tools. These tools I speak of, heal the emotional heart, reviving us. This could be the missing link in self-care. Caring for our spirit could mean the difference between longevity or abandoning our callings.

Now try this: Think about your own anger. Are you wanting to withdraw or self-medicate? Are you numbing your difficult emotions? These are common responses to the stress and trauma we are experiencing. So, take time to get in touch with those tough emotions. Feel your feelings. Pay attention to your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself. Sometimes, what you are thinking is what is causing all the trouble. Instead of suppressing them bring them into the light where Jesus can illuminate. Ephesians 5:13 TPT says "Whatever the revelation-light exposes, it will also correct, and everything that reveals truth is a light to the soul."