by Leslie Malek

Any organization can stumble over the “Smarty-Pants” phenomenon.  You may have witnessed this in your pregnancy help organization. Your team gathers to brainstorm. One confident person has a lot to say, speaks forcefully, sounds convincing, and everyone else defers to her passionate solution. This is the solution that will “save the day” – in theory. 

In practice, it may be no solution at all. Smarty Pants has lots of ideas but quite possibly doesn’t actually know as much as she thinks she does. The real solutions that the less confident team members offered, or kept to themselves, fell under the imposing weight of Smarty Pants. Confident of intuition but without cause, Smarty Pants doesn’t know that she doesn’t know. A number of studies have explored the smarty-pants effect on groups and found over and over that people defer to information that comes from a confident person but in fact, there is an inverse relationship between confidence and knowledge. 

“Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments” by Justin Kruger and David Dunning of Cornell University documents this phenomenon. The authors suggest that overconfident people often lack social and intellectual skill and thereby not only tend to erroneous conclusions and unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it.

More simply put, a lack of knowledge tends to lead a person to greater confidence than is warranted.  The over-confidence that Smarty Pants projects leads people to believe that she is actually more knowledgeable than Smarty Pants really is.

At Harvard University, Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons carried out a number of experiments on this topic.  In one experiment known as The Invisible Gorilla (now a classic in psychology), two groups, one wearing black and the other wearing white, pass two basketballs around. The viewers are asked to count the number of times the basketball is passed, something that is easy to do.  Interestingly, half the viewers completely miss that a gorilla walks through the action and thumps its chest. Even more interesting, according to Simons, is the deep-rooted belief held by most people that they would notice something as out of place as a gorilla at basketball practice. In a survey commissioned by Chabris and Simons, more than 75 percent of a representative sample of American adults “agreed that they would notice such unexpected events, even when they are focused on something else.” Two things stand out from this experiment: people miss a lot of what goes on around them and they often have no idea that they are missing so much. They don't know that they don't know.

Another experiment by Chabris and Simon involved groups of people working together to solve a math problem.  Instead of deferring to the person with the greatest math knowledge, the group deferred to the most confident person, regardless of that person’s knowledge. In 94 percent of the cases, each group’s final answer was the first answer suggested, regardless whether it was right or wrong, and it was the most confident person present who offered this answer.

Teams make the most progress when they are able to distinguish between confidence and knowledge. Effective team leaders make sure that everyone has input. The leader does help the group recognize the relationship between opinions and the actual knowledge and experience behind that information and does not just allow the most confident person to sway the result. Great team leaders also know that they do not know everything: that is why great leaders surround themselves with skilled and knowledgeable team members who do know a lot about their area of expertise. The leader and team members must explore what the individuals of the group actually know -- before coming to a conclusion.

A team that defers to confidence instead of knowledge and experience can make some astoundingly bad decisions.

The take away? Pay attention to the opinions of the most self-effacing, best listeners, and weigh the real expertise and knowledge of the most confident members on your team.

By Aaren Rutan, Client Services Director for Loving Arms

I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been feeling kind of like an island when I look at the world around me. It seems that when I turn on the news the tide of public opinion is completely against everything I hold dear. We wouldn’t be involved in the pregnancy help movement if we weren’t keenly aware of the attack on life that has been waged in our country since 1973. And, we can’t turn on the television without hearing the ongoing debate about contraception, comprehensive sex education, marriage, and the list goes on. . .

When you are tempted to dwell on the discouragement that sometimes creeps in, remember that Jesus went against the tide from His very birth until His death on the cross. Consider His birth—we can be quite confident that it was not commonplace for kings to be welcomed to the world by farm animals and shepherds. Remember the story of how His parents, likely frantic from searching for Him, found Him in the temple teaching those who should have been teaching Him. Or, do you recall those He chose to join Him in His ministry? Among His chosen twelve were tax collectors and fishermen—not likely considered to be among the spiritually elite. I love the story of the “wee little man” (you know the song) whom Jesus called down from the tree. Can you imagine what Zacchaeus must have thought when Jesus said He was going to his house that day?

The religious leaders were horrified when Jesus allowed the woman to wash His feet. And, when He healed the sick on the Sabbath they accused Him of being a blasphemer.

Even the way He died went against the tide of human nature.  He gave His life so that we might have life eternal. And, He is only one of two who rose from the dead; and, unlike Lazarus, He never felt death again!

But, the one story about Jesus that really speaks to me when I consider the context of our ministry is the story of the woman at the well. This is another perfect example of how Jesus broke the barriers of cultural stereotypes of His time. “Sam” (I recently read a study that referred to her as “Sam” since she was a Samaritan) was shocked when Jesus asked her for a drink of water–understandably so considering the fact that she was a woman AND a Samaritan. Add to that the fact that she was living in a sinful relationship with a man who was not her husband and was, therefore, most likely looked down upon by many in her community.

“Sam” wasn’t used to Jewish men striking up conversations with her. But, Jesus went against the tide of society by not only acknowledging her by speaking directly to her, but also by reaching out to her and meeting her deep need for the water that would quench her spiritual thirst forever.

Isn’t that what we do in the pregnancy help movement? How many people have come through these doors to experience love, grace, and a non-judgmental response regardless of the circumstances that brought her/him through our doors? Many of our clients hear a message that is the complete opposite of what they have been exposed to throughout their entire lives. They’ve been conditioned to believe that they aren’t special enough to wait for. They’ve believed the lie that God isn’t real and He doesn’t care about them. They are members of an entire generation that has been told that the lives of unborn children have no value because they can’t be seen.
We tell them that God does in fact love them, that He does have a plan for their good, that He is real and that they can trust Him, and that He values every life—both born and unborn. Jesus ministered to “Sam” in much the same way—by showing her that she was valuable in His eyes.

The next time you hear the news and feel that you are swimming against the tide of our society, rest assured that you are—and you are not alone. Jesus is swimming with you.

Book review by Debbie Schirtzinger, Heartbeat International Affiliation Coordinator

“What does true encouragement look like – the kind that changes lives forever? To encourage people is to help them gain courage they might not otherwise possess – courage to face the day, to do what’s right, to take risks, and/or to make a difference. And the heart of encouragement is to communicate a person’s value.  When we help people feel valuable, capable, and motivated we sometimes see their lives change forever – and then see them go on to change the world.

“God’s love for us gives us the reason to encourage others.
God’s love in us gives us the ability to encourage others.
God’s love through us gives us the way to encourage others.”

Encouragement is an essential part of growing a positive attitude and improving life; and providing that encouragement benefits both the giver and the receiver(s). This book is packed with timeless quotes, scriptures, and short but meaningful stories that illustrate the value of offering and receiving encouragement. Author John Maxwell shares ways to effectively provide the kind of encouragement that transforms individuals, families, churches, and work teams into happier, healthier, more affirming networks.

by Rick Johnson

In Better Dads, Stronger Sons: How Fathers Can Guide Boys to Become Men of Character, author Rick Johnson offers men straight-forward advice on how to be better dads.

Detailing his own struggle with fatherhood before his conversion to Christ, Johnson sympathizes with the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy that can accompany the parenting journey while reassuring fathers that God has chosen them for this special role in the family. Throughout the book, Johnson offers practical advice on key topics including male bonding, spiritual leadership, and self-discipline that can benefit dads with newborns and dads with twenty-somethings alike.

What I loved most about Better Dads, Stronger Sons was not only the encouragement it offers men as they strive to be the dads God designed them to be, but also that it approaches fatherhood with a generational perspective, reminding fathers that not only are they raising men, but they are creating a generational inheritance of fatherhood as they raise future dads.

As the first Father’s Day for my husband, Johnson’s book was truly a special gift offering the encouragement to truly pause and ask “What type of Father would I like to be?” while offering practical advice to help carry the answer out.

Book review by Dawn Lunsford, Heartbeat International eLearning Specialist.

By Jor-El Godsey, Heartbeat International President 

While walking through the parking lot after visiting a superstore, my wife and I were joking about the labels CEO and CFO and who, in our household, they applied to. Since she has a degree in accounting, you can guess what I was lobbying for.

My then five-year-old son was in between us walking hand-in-hand, taking this all in.  He stopped suddenly and looked up at me with a glint in his eye and said, “You’re the D-A-D.”

As I reflect on that moment, I understand that the reality of “D-A-D” is one that unfolds over a parent’s lifetime. Though motherhood might be more obvious, fatherhood also experiences transitions. Even before a man knows he’s a father, he has already begun the process of becoming one in more than just physical ways. How he responds to that will determine what type of “D-A-D” he can or will be.

In the pregnancy help world, we see too many examples of those who’ve rejected the role of father. Often we might find reasons to agree why a certain young man is not ready to serve in a fathering role to his own child. When our earthly wisdom leads us this way we might be tempted to champion single-parenting or feel more compelled to promote adoption. While there are certainly reasons to do both, we must be careful not to slight the call to fatherhood upon each man.

We must always remember that our Father God is actively working to reproduce Himself in each of us. He has inscribed on the heart of every man the source of good fathering. While earthly examples fail – sometimes miserably so – the Ancient of Days continues to sow seeds into the hearts of each generation. As believers and missionaries in this unique mission field we’ve been called to, we must be careful not to discard this reality.

The God of the Universe has divinely inspired both fatherhood and motherhood. He has established the most basic social unit – the family. Though our wayward culture and secularized media rails against every aspect of family, it remains His idea and His glory in its fulfillment.

As the focus is on Fathers this month, remember part of what we do is sow the godly seeds of family – motherhood, and fatherhood. The harvest of our seed should include more than babies born, but also marriages and families. Just as we seek to inspire the mothering instinct in the women we serve, we should always be mindful of the opportunities we have to inspire fathering. We can take heart that the Lord, in His wisdom, has also placed a complimentary calling upon fathers.

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