The moment I found out I was pregnant my whole world stopped, or at least it felt like it did. I did not know what to do… but one thing was for sure, I couldn’t tell anyone in my family until I did know.
I remember going onto Google and typing “pregnant and scared” into the search engine. As I looked over the results to my search I saw one that caught my attention immediately. It was CareNet Pregnancy Center of Rhode Island. As I looked over CareNet’s website, I came across a telephone number for a hotline which was open 24 hours so I immediately dialed and spoke to someone about some of the emotions running through my mind and set up an appointment for the following week. At a time where everything is so new and so scary, making that call gave me such a feeling of guidance because I knew that soon I could express myself to someone and express how I felt about my unplanned pregnancy. The day of my appointment I was so nervous.
I went into CareNet knowing there were other options like an abortion and thinking that was my only way out. My thoughts of having a baby were overshadowed with unanswered questions and I felt like I had hit a dead end.
It was the greatest relief in the world to just talk to someone who made me feel so comfortable and gave me support and just get all the clutter in my head off my chest. I consider that day a blessing and because of that day I strongly believe I found the courage to continue with my pregnancy despite that it meant my life changing forever. At a time where my emotions were overwhelmed by my thoughts and I was not able to clearly think, the smallest of talks can make a big difference.
The amount of support I received was unbelievable. I had my first ultrasound at CareNet and the feeling I had that day from seeing my unborn child is indescribable. They helped me with many things from looking for a doctor to providing me with labor classes. It has been almost 4 years since my first time at CareNet but I can still remember that day clearly. I often think back to that day and all the wonderful staff and counselors at CareNet who helped me get through a nerve wracking time and helped me clear my mind.
It is so easy for your judgment to be over shadowed by thoughts. I sometimes wonder where I would be if I hadn’t reached out for help and acted on my emotions. I am extremely thankful there are no ‘what ifs’ and that I get to enjoy my son and all the joy he has brought me. It is sad and almost shocking to me to think about all the feelings I once felt and how vulnerable I was to thinking an abortion was my only solution. My plans and goals have not changed since I’ve had my son and I feel like they have only become more solid because I refuse to give up and when I feel like I want to give up all I have to do is take a look at my son. The moment I walked into CareNet, I walked out a different person.