by Terri Fox, Events Specialist

It was late in the evening; I was tired and wanted to finish one more thing before heading home. Just three more emails. I scheduled them to go out the next morning.

The next day, as I looked through my work, I shouted, “Oh no!” I realized I had goofed! I sent an email with information that I wasn’t ready to share. I confessed to my supervisor with an explanation of how I might overcome my error, but the mental gymnastics that followed were overwhelming.

Guilt! Failure! Fear! Disappointment! I was certain others were already judging me in that same way, though they had no idea I had even sent any emails.

I was barely in the door before I unleashed a monologue of self-loathing upon my husband. I couldn’t sleep. Words of condemnation swirled in my head.  I tried to refocus by making lists in my head.  I tried to take my thoughts captive. I tried to pray. Sometime later, I finally fell asleep.

In the restlessness of my sleep, God was at work. When I awoke the next morning, I felt a sense of peace. Yes, I had made a mistake, but God in His abundant grace had given me a solution. He had given me words to explain. And a reminder that He is bigger than I.

What contributed to my error in the first place? Feelings of guilt. I was behind on timelines. My inbox was approaching 200 unread emails.  I felt there were more tasks than I could possibly handle at the moment. I let my hyper sense of responsibility and the notion of perceived expectations interfere with balance and grace.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7, Paul talks about a thorn that he was given. Three times he asked the Lord to take it away. Guilt is sometimes my thorn. But when the Lord reminds me that His power is made perfect in my weakness, I can receive the grace that he longs to give me.

What undeserved condemnation are you heaping upon yourself in this busy season? Behind on paperwork? Unfinished projects that have lingered too long? Feeling that clients need more help than you personally think you are equipped to handle? Are family demands overwhelming you?

In this, or any season of busyness, I encourage you to step off the wrestling mat, take captive every thought, and surrender them to the Lord. Let His power conquer those feelings of guilt and then receive and rest in His grace.  Let His power shine through your weakness. For when we are weak, then He is given room to be strong.