by Betty McDowell, LSW, LAS
Vice President of Ministry Services, Heartbeat International

Mary Anna Russo LaRosa (pictured on the right with her two oldest sons, Frank and Al) could not have imagined how the decision she made 100 years ago in 1921, at the age of 25, to sail from Italy to Ellis Island, NY would shape generations to come. 

My grandmother Mary was born in 1896 in Caltanissta Province to Liberio and Concetta Russo and was married off at the age of 13 to my grandfather, Alfonso, who was 13 years her senior. My understanding is that life was very difficult for this young woman as poverty, war, and hopelessness surrounded and invaded her life. Alfonso, my grandfather, headed to the United States in 1914 leaving behind his young wife and two small boys. He left to start a new life in the land of opportunity. The seven years apart proved to be very difficult for Mary and her two young sons as they lived without support from family and suffered hardship upon hardship. As a single, vulnerable mother, Mary became a victim of rape which resulted in a pregnancy and the birth of a son. The shame of rape, the pressure to hide this shame, and the anger of my grandfather (who was informed of the rape and birth of a child through a letter sent to him in the US) resulted in Mary placing her son in the care of another. Mary and her two other sons had to say goodbye to this child, never to see him again.

I have tried to imagine what it must have been like to kiss a baby goodbye, board a ship headed to a land with a language unknown to me and sail the ocean with two young children in the hopes of making my way to a husband not seen in seven years. The anguish, the grief, the fear she must have experienced fills me with compassion for a grandmother I never had the privilege to meet. Mary passed away before I was born but I have cherished the grandmother memories of my older siblings and cousins.

After arriving in the United States and making her way to Cleveland, Ohio, Mary and Alfonso went on to have three more children, my father being one of them. I have been told stories of what a sweet, kind, faith-filled, loving woman my grandmother was. My father once shared with me that his mother lived with a great sadness, but it was not until my adult life that I became aware of just how deep the sadness and how great the pain was she bore throughout her life.

My brave grandmother left quite a legacy. Due to her faith, love of family, willingness to bear shame, poverty, loss, pain, inequality, and prejudice, she provided for and shaped the lives of her six children and 18 grandchildren. Mary’s life has continued to shape the lives of generations she never met, those of the 26 great grandchildren and those of her great great grandchildren as we share her stories with them. 

My cousin shared a precious childhood memory of often seeing my grandmother kneeling and praying. I would love to know what Mary carried deep in her heart of faith and I wonder if she prayed for the future generations of her family. I’m guessing she never thought that 100 years after she boarded a ship to America her story would be told, and her bravery celebrated.

This Mother’s Day my family and I will take a moment to honor the memory of brave moms like my grandmother, Mary Russo LaRosa, and pray for the brave moms of today and their future generations.

Happy Mother’s Day 2021!

by Betty McDowell, LSW, LAS
Vice President of Ministry Services, Heartbeat International

Saying Happy Birthday to an organization may seem a little odd to some of us since we usually save that sentiment for living human beings. However, organizations are very much living breathing organisms. You can see some of the similarities in the chart below.

Source: Olsen, J. (7/22/2017). Your business is a living, breathing, organism: Interesting patterns in business and in nature. Huffington Post. Retrieved from https://tinyurl.com/ybq4tgrf.

So, let us look at our relationship to this living, breathing organization called Heartbeat International.

I was thinking back to something I read many years ago. I do not remember the secular author’s name, but I do remember what he said. As a PhD. relationship expert he was asked, “what is the most important question we should ask ourselves about a person we might want to have a lifelong relationship with?” The expert responded by saying, “is this person kind?”

This seemed so basic to me, I must admit I laughed at how simple his answer was.

The expert went on to say that while being kind demonstrates true consideration and respect for others, it is also evidence of good character. Is this person kind to all? Are they consistently and genuinely kind both in public and in private? He warned that even a narcissist is often publicly kind to lure others into unhealthy relationships. Observing the consistency of kindness is key to answering the question, is this person kind?

I have been blessed to be married to a kind man and can testify that my genuine, meaningful, and lasting relationships are marked by the common denominator of kindness. My dearest relationships are with kind people. Not perfect people, but genuinely kind people.

While being kind is a virtue we can attribute to people, I also think KIND can be attributed to the pregnancy help movement and more specifically to Heartbeat International. Heartbeat is consistently and genuinely kind. Being kind is part of Heartbeat’s past, present, and future.

Heartbeat and our affiliates consistently demonstrate acts of generosity, charity, compassion, and tenderness towards those in need, those who have no voice and who deserve love and respect.

To be kind also means being willing to confront and to speak the truth to a person, an organization, a system, and/or a government. Heartbeat has been and continues to be willing to be a truth-telling voice to leaders, pregnancy help organizations, the public and government. Confronting issues, even within the pregnancy help community, means disagreements, problems and conflicts get addressed and often resolved or at least clarified. Sometimes the kindest act one can do is to confront.

Dr. Hillabrand, one of the founders of Alternatives to Abortion International, now known as Heartbeat International, in his kind way, eloquently addressed Congress 50 years ago with the following words.

Human life, if it is at all important in our time, must be defended across the board. Any arbitrary exceptions, especially when they become legalized, are potentially dangerous to us all. The most terrible pages of history are those which tell of regimes founded on, or at least tolerant of, disregard of the intrinsic values of human life. The most glorious and courageous are those which recite the contrary. No society or civilization, in the better sense, has survived inhuman principles. Adding abortion through government policy or inadvertent permissiveness to the present state of national and international unrest would suggest little optimism for the survival of our society as we have known it.

The same year Dr. Hillabrand gave this speech, he along with Lore Maier and Sr. Paula Vandegaer founded AAI. An OB/GYN at retirement age, a refugee from Nazi Germany, and a young Catholic nun started something KIND. AAI, now Heartbeat International, a KIND - and one of kind - organization.

K – Knowledgeable. Services provided by Heartbeat and their affiliates are knowledge based. Having a growth mindset learning all things about and connected to pregnancy help is a high priority. From fetal development, pre-natal care, community resources, adoption, parenting, marriage, domestic violence, abortion, drug addiction, homelessness, human trafficking, ultrasound, and pregnancy loss – just to name a few. Creating an Academy providing training, in-person, in print or online. An Academy where we can continue to grow in knowledge and understanding, gleaning from professionals in the areas of medicine, mental health, education, and technology. We in turn offer knowledge and services to our clients helping them make life-giving choices for themselves and their children.

I – Innovative. Heartbeat International holds to our values (Commitment of Care and Competence) while developing and implementing new products and processes to better serve the pregnancy help community. Just look at OptionLine answering 1,000 or more contacts a day – continually improving in efficiency and effectiveness. APRN is a continually growing network ready to assist women with abortion pill reversal. Next Level software development allows us to see in real time the trends happening in pregnancy centers. We live in a VUCA world (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous*) which requires innovative and creative thinking to carry out our mission.

*Bennis, W. & Nanus, B. (1987). Leadership skills & strategies: VUCA world. Retrieved from https://www.vucaworld.org/.

N – Nuanced. Our worldwide network celebrates the opportunity to nuance programs and services. We are Heartbeat International, and while we may understand what works in reaching clients in Houston, Texas, we also know it may not work in Johannesburg, South Africa. Subtle or perhaps not so subtle differences in how services are delivered is expected. Heartbeat encourages nuanced services to better reach people in need.

D – Determined. The founders set our course and we continue to be determined to make abortion unwanted today and unthinkable for future generations. We are determined to change the world through LOVE. The LOVE Approach - We listen and learn, open options, give vision and value and extend and empower women to choose life. We are determined to bring hope to those who need it most.

As we gathered for the 2021 Heartbeat Conference to celebrate Heartbeat’s 50^th birthday last week, I was reminded once again of our KIND heritage.

May we continue to thrive and grow as we pledge to be KIND - Knowledgeable, Innovative, Nuanced and Determined.

When we come together at gatherings like this, we see who we are, and we are reminded of the bond we share. We become more visible to ourselves and more visible to our world. Heartbeat does not look like we did 10-20-30-40-50 years ago, nor should we. Even months and years from now we will look different than we do today AND we will still be KIND – kind, a most important virtue for a lifelong relationship. 

To this living breathing organization called Heartbeat International I say, Happy 50^th Birthday.

For those in-person at Heartbeat International’s 50^th Annual Conference, you were privy to a wonderful surprise. Ken Ham, founder and CEO of Answers in Genesis provided not only a Bonus Keynote event on Thursday afternoon, but also a gift for each pregnancy help organization on-site.

The Creation Museum, a project of Answers in Genesis, opened a new exhibit this past fall called “Fearfully & Wonderfully Made.” In it, you walk through the development of a life and are equipped with the answers needed to counter popular arguments for abortion.

Because Answers in Genesis believes in the work of pregnancy help, they provided each organization present at the keynote a “Fearfully & Wonderfully Made Kit” to take back to their centers. The kit includes twelve 3D photographs walking through each stage of development within the womb, an exhibit teaching book, journal, and a Fearfully & Wonderfully Made DVD.

For those not on-site, you are not forgotten.

Answers in Genesis will be sending one of the kits to each Heartbeat-affiliated pregnancy help organization (primary location) within the United States as a special gift to thank you for the great work you do. These tools should help equip you further in this life-saving message of hope.

We are all in this together, called to advance a culture of life and communicate the truth to combat the cultural worldview we so often encounter in today’s world. Together, we can do it!

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:13-14)

“and may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all men, just as we also do for you.”—I Thessalonians 3:12

Servants of Excellence

It was Paul who gave us I Corinthians 13, which many refer to as “The Love Chapter.” Throughout his writings we see so many times where he implores, exhorts and encourages fellow believers to love each other. If I didn’t know better, I’d think love is a big deal!

Jesus told us that the world would know we are Christians not by our ability to quote Bible verses, not by our piousness, and not even because of the “bad” things we avoid doing. Instead, Jesus told us the best way to convince others of our faith was by loving each other.

And now here is Paul, talking to the Thessalonians like a broken record about this “love” thing. Here’s a thought—maybe loving each other was difficult for those in the early days of Christianity, and it’s still a challenge today.

But love must be incredibly important to our faith.

Paul’s desire is that “the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all men, just as we also do for you . . . .” But why? Why is this so vital? One possibility shows up in the next sentence, where Paul says, “so that He may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all His saints.”

Paraphrasing, it looks like love brings incredible joy to God. If we have love, we have the kind of heart God adores. In truth, if we choose to love in every situation, we’re blameless before God.

Is love easy? No. We face conflict all the time, challenging our ability to love. We must deal with people who are frustrating and exasperating. To love these people with joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control is . . . tough!

This challenge must be why Paul uses these words to the Thessalonians to pray for them, asking the Lord to intervene and cause love to increase and abound as they try to get along with each other.

In our offices, we carry the same challenge. We’ve got great co-workers, but sometimes . . . things get a bit difficult. Maybe we don’t see a situation the same way as someone else might. Or perhaps there was a misunderstanding. Love becomes elusive in these moments.

As a reminder, let’s keep this verse in front of us. We might even pray it together from time to time. Because wouldn’t it be great if the Lord caused us to increase and abound in love for one another? If we consistently invited Him to increase and abound our love, we could go new places as a ministry. And like Jesus said, the world will take notice—and that’s a great thing to see.

by Kirk Walden, Advancement Specialist

by Annabelle Nakabiri Ssebakijje

Annabelle Ssebakijje will be presenting a workshop titled Saving Two Lives at a Time at the 2021 Heartbeat International Virtual Conference.

It is not very common for me to be silent for 3 hours while having a conversation with another person. The staff I serve with always have to remind me of time when we have a meeting. It even gets more challenging when I am talking with girls – I think it comes from a place of wanting to pour my heart out into every conversation.

As I continue to interact and serve survivors of sexual abuse and young women that come through our doors; I have learnt to BE QUIET and LISTEN!

(Shared with permission)

A couple of days ago I met this young lady I will call Pat. She got my contact off Facebook and sent me a long message. She needed help.  After a couple of chats I realized I needed to urgently meet with her in person. For the first time, she had found someone willing to listen. She had found a place she can let it all out. I am not sure I was prepared for the 3 hours of deep sighs and tears as I listened to a spirit of a beautiful girl – so crushed and feeling completely helpless.

This young lady comes from a polygamous family. She lost her father at age 13 and this meant she couldn’t continue with school. The step sisters quickly threw her and her mom out of the house. They had to struggle through life to find a place to stay and afford a meal. Left with “not so many options,” she found herself a young sweet love who promised her a life of big dreams. When she shared the news about their pregnancy, the young man offered her money to have an abortion. She took the money but decided to keep her child. The prince of her dreams was not ready to be responsible – so he left.

Now there was a child to care for. There was no family support. There was no baby-daddy and no love. She lost the right to be just a young girl. She had someone calling her “maama” (Luganda word meaning mom) and to society – she was the wasted teenager. This was not the future she had imagined. All her dreams were “crushed.”

One of the most common things that happens to people that have suffered abuse and painful losses is they learn to settle for anything – because they have to get by – they need to SURVIVE. I fail to count the number of times I have heard the statement “I had no other option” during counselling sessions. The pain we experience serval times makes us so vulnerable and desperate – and as a result, there is repeated abuse.

For Pat, she was forced to learn the art of sex trade early. Sleeping with at least 5 men a day. Some paid for her services. Some did not. Some required that they do not use protection. More than 3 times, she got pregnant and felt her only option was to abort. Each time she had to go through this cycle of pain alone. She would remind herself – “I have no option.”

A couple of years later – the “way of survival” was not bringing in as much as she needed to meet the needs of her growing child. Someone introduced her to what sounded like an exciting opportunity. She was to be an escort. Escort is a common term used in the sex trafficking industry. This meant she was expected to walk around with guests that came to Uganda through a tour company, and they needed girls for sexual pleasure. The offer was that for every girl who pleases the “white” clients, they get a pay close to 1m per month, a business set up for them and travel opportunities. Well, this sounded exciting – until she learnt that to qualify for the juicy slot – one needed to go through series of preparation and practice. Her and a group of other younger girls (16 – 25yrs) were always expected to have their nude pictures taken and recorded sex sessions with young men during “rehearsals.”  The madam running the business called this – training. No one expected to be paid for the training sessions. There was no food benefit. No explanations why the sessions were recorded. The pictures were to be sent to potential company clients to choose which girl they want as an escort when they arrive in the country.

One day, as Pat walked out of the training session; she felt a rare deep pain. Whatever her life was is NOT anything she really dreamt of or even wanted. But she felt so trapped and didn’t know how to get out. She kept on convincing herself she needed to do this for her dear child – but she wasn’t sure she would live long enough to raise him.

By the time she was done pouring her pain out; I asked the Holy Spirit – How does one recover from all these layers of pain and abuse?

What Does “Abuse” Mean?

Abuse is defined as “to be misused, used improperly or to be wasted; to use in such a way as to cause harm or damage; to be treated cruelly.” Any time we are misused or used for a purpose other than what God intended, it’s damaging. And I realize many people can relate to this. For some of you reading this article, I’m just telling your story. You know what it’s like to live with a terrible, shameful secret that is eating you alive.

I see me. I see Pat. I see hundreds of girls we serve through our ministry. I see the many texts I receive after television shows and from social media; from parents, youth, older women and men reaching out to seek for help. I read of the thousands of girls trafficked every day and how some human is profiting from that as a trade. The thousands trapped in the red light districts; living off drugs to help them forget the sorrow of the day. I read of the hundreds dying; some committing suicide, many murdered for saying it’s enough – I want out. I see children born without Fatherhood identity – there is just no way their moms can identify who was really responsible. I see daughters that have known perversion as a form of love. They are ashamed of themselves and ashamed of the people that abused them. Constantly afraid and with such a low esteem. Pretending to live a normal life but feeling so lonely all the time and different from everyone else.

I may never imagine the extent of this damage. How many destinies have been crushed? How many more shall it take until we see change?

Even after years of dealing with these experiences almost on a daily basis – I never get used to the pain. I have learnt to allow myself to feel all the emotions. And I encourage you to do the same. It is ok to ask questions. It is ok to cry. It is ok to feel bitterness. It is ok to lash out. It is ok not to have answers. It is ok not to know what to say.

There is a reason why we have the book of Lamentations in the Bible. I want to believe God understands that we experience human pains – that is what makes us human. Sometimes we completely lose it – and ONLY GOD knows how to raise us up!

As I prayed through the session with Pat – I heard the Holy Spirit whisper Ezekiel 37:3 – child of mine (Son of Man), can these dry bones live again?

I find comfort in knowing that there is a God who is able to re-write stories of death – into stories of Life and significance.

Annabelle Nakabiri Ssebakijje

Founder and Executive Director

The Remnant Generation (www.theremnantgeneration.org)

Annabelle is a survivor of sexual abuse and child marriage. She has dedicated her life to rescuing lives of teen moms that have survived sexual abuse in Uganda.

by Mary Peterson, Housing Specialist
Heartbeat International

My young nieces are on a chicken kick. They have hatched eggs, studied the various chicken breeds, and dreamt about being chicken farmers. When I catch them on the phone, chirping sounds fill the background.  With a little chick cupped in their hands, they rattle on and on about this chicken's unique features, filled with stories of how cute it is now and how many eggs it will lay in the future.  

Their love is a testimony to new life and springtime. It is simple and good.

The egg is a symbol of Easter, often found in religious artwork to indicate life springing forth from the darkness of the tomb. That symbolism has spilled over into the egg-dyeing, egg-hunting, and chocolate egg-eating traditions that we associate with Easter.

And in some ways, the egg echos the work of maternity housing. The women we serve often arrive trapped in the darkness of their lives but literally filled with life and possibility.  We fuss to create a little corner that is safe and cozy for them; we fluff and fill their space with items to communicate excitement about their presence.  We attempt to keep that mom in the warmth of a lived Christian experience and do regular check-ins to see how things are going.

We hope and pray in anticipation that new life will spring forth. We trust that renewal and redemption is possible in her life, just as we seek it in our own life. We accompany her as she awaits the new life that she carries and serve as a model of rejoicing and celebrating in the preciousness of that life.

May your egg traditions help you to remember the joy of life springing forth. May this season of Easter and spring and renewal and possibility have an impact on your life. May people look at the way that you love within your work and be inspired. May our hearts be simple and good!

by Candy Marballi

The Prayer Covenant is a ministry focused on leading children and adults to follow Jesus through the power of prayer. The Prayer Covenant for Women is designed to speak to the hearts of women and encourages them to boldly approach God’s throne in their time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

Each line of the prayer is based upon an unshakeable truth and centered on the person and presence of Jesus Christ. Each line of the prayer has a corresponding scripture to encourage and equip the reader with Biblical truths. Scripture enriches our prayer time with Jesus, inviting Him to speak to us.

Whether praying the Prayer Covenant for Women yourself or with a friend, I’m not sure there is a more beautiful expression of showing our love for Jesus and for one another than through prayer. When we pray, we give ourselves fully to Jesus--receiving His love, His compassion, His mercy, His healing and His forgiveness.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7) Prayer replaces despair with hope, sorrow with joy. It fills the deepest longing within our hearts--soothes our fears and comforts us even in the darkest valley. Whether a few minutes or hours, prayer is life-giving and fills us with hope because we are in the presence of the greatest hope giver.

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. (Jeremiah 33:3)

by Betty McDowell, LSW, LAS
Vice President of Ministry Services, Heartbeat International

The exact history of April Fools’ Day is a mystery. Tradition includes playing pranks and practical jokes on friends, family, co-workers and others. Even famous personalities and businesses have been known to create outrageous April Fools' hoaxes. I remember back in 1996 when Taco Bell fooled people with the announcement of purchasing the Liberty Bell and renaming it the Taco Bell. Some quickly realized the silliness while others were downright offended until they made the April Fools’ Day connection.

This year April Fool’s Day falls on Thursday of Holy Week. Some may feel uneasy about April Fool’s Day having such a close connection with our precious Holy Days and joyful Easter celebration, but I am at peace as I see a deeper perhaps even prophetic connection.

We currently find ourselves living in a world where “wisdom” from institutions we once held in esteem like the AMA, Universities, Government and even churches now tell us that we who hold to our ancient biblical values and Christian faith are foolish. The war on the value of human life wages as the cultural pressure increases to compromise, comply, and embrace a progressive view which completely goes against the biblical truth, that every person is made in the image of God and holds precious value at each stage of life.

If holding to my convictions regarding the value of the unborn means being counted a fool by the world’s standards, I am more than okay with that and you should be too.  After all we are in good company. The disciples must have looked like fools to the Romans – and even many Jews – when the Chief Priests and others were clearly turning against Jesus. Shouldn’t they have seen the writing on the wall? Judas certainly seemed to think so. Christ himself was considered a fool. He was mocked, condemned, tortured, and hated for serving, healing, teaching, saving and loving others.

It seems fitting to me that this year April Fool’s Day falls just before Good Friday. After all, the ultimate April Fool’s hoax was really played on the enemy of our souls. Christ willingly chose to look like a fool when he gave His life for ours. The enemy thought he had won. The enemy thought himself wise and rejoiced for three days when Christ died and was buried. 

BUT then…Christ arose and won the victory.

I do have hope that a time of revival is coming, a time when people will awaken from their stupor and follow God with their whole hearts loving what He loves and hating what He hates. Until that times comes, when I find myself troubled by the “wisdom of this world” I comfort myself with this scripture.

“Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a ‘fool’ so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness’ and again, ‘The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.’ So then, no more boasting about men!” (1 Cor 3:18-21)

From all of us at Heartbeat International we wish you the wisdom of God and the joy of a Happy Easter.

Servants of Excellence

But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!” Luke 5:8

Peter had a problem. All night he had cast his fishing nets out into the water with no return. None. Nothing. Nada.

The next morning Jesus showed up, asking Peter for boat access as He taught a gathering throng. Peter of course, obliged. When Jesus was finished however, Peter still had no fish. Until Jesus asked him to cast the net just one more time.

When Peter did so, we know what happened. So many fish hopped into the nets, Peter needed his friends to help keep them from breaking. A good day, for sure.

But Peter’s response sounds weird today. “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!” Peter quickly realized that if a man could make thousands of fish appear where there were zero fish just a few minutes before, that same someone—if he got close enough to Peter—could see Peter didn’t deserve the miracle. Hence, Peter was afraid.

Yet how did Jesus respond? Did He forgive Peter? We don’t see this in the text. Did Jesus ask Peter to reconsider his sinfulness? We don’t see this, either.

What we do see is Jesus offering Peter a great opportunity to follow along. “Do not fear,” Jesus told Simon. “From now on you will be catching men.”

In other words, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, Peter.”

Here’s the bottom line. Peter focused on his problem (his sinfulness). Jesus focused on Peter’s potential (“You can be a fisher of men”).

What is it about us that makes us focus on our problems? We are constantly our worst critics, pointing out our flaws and our failings. But then there is Jesus, telling us we have potential. We have the God-given ability to influence others, encourage others, and change the lives of others.

As we move forward in our work, let’s focus on the potential God gives. Let’s see it in ourselves, and let’s see it in others. The next time we are tempted to consider how much we fall short (“Depart from me, for I am a sinful person!”), let’s turn our perspective to how Jesus sees us.

Jesus placed us in this ministry to go fishing for people. He sees potential in each of us. In fact, He sees so much possibility, He has no time to blab with us about our failures. He’s ready to grab us and go fishing. All we need to do is follow. And once we decide to follow, we’re past our problems and primed for the possibilities.

by Kirk Walden, Advancement Specialist