Servants of Excellence

“Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house.” Luke 19:5B

Jesus would have been lousy at Instagram. While Jesus would have millions of followers, likes and shares on any social media site, something tells me He wouldn’t have spent much time trying to get the perfect photo to share or musing on creating a viral meme.

And when we look carefully at Jesus’ ministry, He never appeared interested in the big numbers. Instead, he almost always focused on the “one,” or only a few.

Yes, Jesus spoke to hundreds and even thousands, but we never see Jesus trying to pull together a crowd. There were no banners proclaiming, “Jesus to Speak on the Mount Today! Don’t Miss it!” If crowds showed up, Jesus didn’t turn them away. But most of Jesus’ most memorable moments took place with one person here, a small group there.

Think about it. Jesus chose just twelve disciples. Many others followed and were disciples as well, but Jesus zeroed in on just twelve. We see story after story of Jesus healing one blind man, only ten lepers, one boy possessed by a spirit, one centurion’s servant, one blind man, one man suffering from dropsy. We could go on—the list is long.

And Jesus’ stories? He told us of one lost sheep, one good Samaritan, one prodigal son and his relationship with one loving father.

Jesus spoke to one woman at a well, one curious Nicodemus, and called out for one Zaccheus, almost lost in a huge crowd.

Yes, Jesus fed thousands. He healed . . . who knows how many? But at His core, the good news Jesus talked about spread because of one here, one there. Because of Jesus’ focus on the “one,” He earned the trust and love of the thousands.

As we serve those we see, we likely wonder sometimes whether we’ve made much of a difference. One came in the other day and we’re not sure we reached her. Another made a life decision, but we can’t know for certain what her future holds. We wonder, is our work truly making a “big” impact?

Jesus knew how to make a “big” impact. He reached one here. Then, he walked for miles and reached one more. Then, another. And another. By doing so, He created a blueprint for us in the pregnancy help community—one we follow each day.

We don’t know if following this model will make us social media influencers or draw crowds of people desperate to hear us speak. But we do know this model is Jesus-inspired. And, regardless of whether we see instant results, connecting with the one brings God-sized results.

by Kirk Walden, Advancement Specialist
Heartbeat International

by Andrea Trudden
Director of Communications & Marketing, Heartbeat International

There is no I in team, but there is me.

This is a silly take on a saying that we have all heard since little league. However, it is an important part of team leadership training. Hear me out.

When you invest in yourself to become a better leader, you need to take that “me” approach because you’re diving into the core of who you are and how you lead. You discover new ways to become a better leader.

And when you become a better leader, everybody around you benefits.

If you have attended the Leadership Track of our Pregnancy Help Institute, you know the importance of investing in yourself to directly impact the lives of those you interact with daily. Understanding how to truly hear people and how to effectively communicate helps alleviate many potential misunderstandings. It also allows you to intentionally connect with people and pour into their lives.

From our home to the office, our spouses, children, and colleagues all receive the nurturing care that true leadership training provides.

As a team here at Heartbeat, we recently completed the Whole Intentional Leader Development (WiLD) program, an online set of tools that “builds self-awareness, connects the dots between who you are, why you are, and what you do, and scaffolds the transformational conversations necessary to prepare you for the road ahead as a leader and as someone called to make a difference in the lives of others. that is available to both individuals and teams.”

While on my own, this would have impacted my specific leadership style – going through the program together allowed us to share this experience and grow as a team.

We are blessed to have a strong leadership team here at Heartbeat. We are a mixture of introverts and extroverts, men and women, millennials and baby boomers. Utilizing our (in some cases, very different) strengths for Heartbeat, allows us to lead it effectively. A good team utilizes the strength of each individual within it.

I will admit, I enjoy learning. If you look at my bookshelf, there are several books on leadership and parenting. Coincidentally there are a lot of the same lessons within each. However, to be honest, I was hesitant to walk through a leadership program as a team as it would require a certain degree of vulnerability.

Throughout our time together, there were a few weeks when we were asked tough questions. Well, I thought they were tough questions.

Many of my colleagues answered these very easily and seemed to know the exact answers. Questions that I struggled deeply with, they were laughing about and offering answers at will!

These moments were a bit intimidating. They were also moments of growth.  

Because of the trust I have with my team, I admitted when I struggled. This opened the door to some amazing conversations that both helped me grow personally, but also enlightened others to the fact that a few of us, in fact, were on a different experience level, and perhaps we needed to focus a bit on certain leadership areas.

Walking through the WiLD program together was a good reminder that depending on our age, experience, and/or personality styles, we are all unique individuals utilizing our individual strengths to achieve a common purpose.

We do not lead at Heartbeat with an iron fist. We work together as an effective team with an open-door policy. Walking through a leadership training together reinforced the importance of transparency.

By trusting one another and walking through this activity alongside one another, we were able to lift each other up, strategize to overcome obstacles, and plan effectively for the future.

This is not a first for Heartbeat, nor is it a last. We believe in investing in ourselves to grow as individuals because we know that when we as leaders of the pregnancy help movement take time to nurture those around us, we inspire! And when we inspire others, we change the world!

Heartbeat has an exclusive offer for U.S. affiliates in good standing. Heartbeat International is partnering with WiLD Leaders to provide this professional training for pregnancy help leaders to advance their leadership skills. Working with WiLD Leaders, Heartbeat-affiliated Executive Directors, Presidents and CEOs can delve deep to grow as individuals and lead intentionally. Learn more.

by Betty McDowell, Vice President of Ministry Services
Heartbeat International

Recently I came across the term “COVID Fatigue.” I am not talking about one of the many symptoms of coronavirus but rather a collective fatigue we all feel living through this pandemic. We are tired of lockdowns, masks, quarantines, social distancing, uncertainties, conflicting information, and many of us are feeling frustrated, isolated, fearful, restricted, and frazzled. Moreover, while many of us were hopeful in the spring, this has gone on longer than many of us have expected. At this point, many have given up saying, “when things get back to normal, we will …”

Woven into our COVID fatigue is the accumulation of loss. All of us have suffered loss through this time. Loss of incomes, jobs, vacations, family reunions, graduations, weddings, welcoming new babies, and for some of us the loss of relationships through death. During this time when funerals and gatherings are limited or postponed, even grief and closure can be put on hold. Let us be real, there have been moments when the temptation to slip into despair is difficult to overcome.

All that said, there are good things happening too. We don’t have to fall into, or even worse, live in despair. What we do need to do is find ways to live well today, and help our loved ones do the same.

Are you or someone you care about struggling today?

Below are some practical ways to address the struggle, mourn losses, and take steps to a better today:

Do not ignore the accumulative loss in your life. Take time to review your loss and bring these disappointments before God in prayer. Record loss in your journal where you can pour out your feelings and experiences – not only can this be therapeutic, but it can also provide a way to look back in your life to see how the Lord brought you through this difficult season.

Check your self-talk. If you find phrases in your self-talk like, “just give up,” “it’s not worth it,” “why bother,” “the best is over” or any other language in the despair category, BEWARE! We have a spiritual enemy who loves to take advantage of our fatigue and grief. Recognize that while we are in a pandemic we are also in a spiritual battle. Turn to God for strength, and do not surrender your heart.

Choose Gratitude. Gratitude and anxiety cannot co-exist. It’s true. Just try to be grateful and anxious at the same time – you cannot do it! Choose to kick out despair and live in gratitude. Focus on the blessings you have in the present moment and set your heart on the hope for a brighter future.

Tell yourself the truth. This is not the end of things. You are not alone. The pursuit of life and joy is still possible. God is in control. God has a plan and a purpose for you during this time and beyond.

Exercise. Even a short walk can help reset mind, soul, and body. Exercise can help relieve stress and release endorphins helping you feel better and contribute to your overall health.

Talk with friends, listen to worshipful music, memorize scripture, read inspiring books. Find that thing that helps bring you out of despair and dive into it. Take advantage of extra time to find those things that fill your heart. We’re all having to pour out a lot right now, but that only works if you are filling up.

Purposely choose hope. Vietnam POW Ken Cordier shares how he and his fellow prisoners placed bets on when their imprisonment would end. Several of the men placed their bets on upcoming holidays or birthdays. When those dates came, and their release had not come they became distraught and did not fare well as prisoners. Ken Cordier chose a date several years away. He decided he would hold out hope for a future and put his trust in God to get him through one day at a time. Ken purposely chose hope and so can you. You see, hope isn’t about expecting everything to be back to normal tomorrow. Hope is about trusting that God will sort it all out in His time.

And make no mistake, He will. You can depend on it.

I’ll leave you today with Psalm 46, a psalm I spent time reflecting on in my prayer time recently. Perhaps you can take time to sit with it in prayer today. After all, now is a time of opportunity to “Be still and know” who God is and how He can work.

^{Psalm 46 (NIV)
1} God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸ Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

The information in this article is accurate as of its publication date (December 9, 2020). We are working to keep our articles up-to-date as changes surrounding COVID-19 occur, and we encourage everyone to check the CDC, WHO and their local authorities as the situation is ever-evolving.

Servants of Excellence

So when the Samaritans came to Him, they were asking Him to stay with them; and He stayed there two days. John 4:40

The story of the Woman at the Well is familiar to all of us. We often think about this story in terms of Jesus reaching out to someone struggling in relationships and life in general. And we consider how Jesus chose this woman to reveal Himself as the Messiah.

It is a story of love, hope and new beginnings.

And, it is a story of a common-sense approach to racial reconciliation, a great need in our culture today.

The Woman at the Well was a Samaritan, and we know mainline Jews never talked to Samaritans. Upstanding Jews never traveled through Samaritan areas, never connected with Samaritans, had no place for them in their synagogues.

But Jesus cut through all of this, building a bridge of connection with five powerful actions.

1) Jesus Went out of His Way

Jews went around Samaritan villages, not through them. But Jesus made it his mission to go into Samaria and connect with the woman at the well.

2) Jesus Drew Her into Conversation

Starting with a simple request for water, Jesus engaged the Samaritan woman in conversation. He never judged, never pushed his opinion on her. He let her do as much talking as He—a great lesson for all of us.

3) Jesus Didn’t Take Sides

When the Samaritan woman tried to bring Jesus into a debate about theological issues (“You people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship”), Jesus didn’t take the bait. Instead, He focused on bigger issues (“An hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.”).

By not debating the smaller matter of where to worship, Jesus could zero in on the major issue--Who to worship. In doing so, Jesus opened the door for anyone—including the Samaritan woman—to join Jesus’ team.

4) Jesus Risked Transparency

When the Samaritan woman told Jesus she knew the “Messiah is coming,” Jesus didn’t hold back, sharing with her that He was the One she was looking for. Because we’re talking about Jesus, it’s easy to overlook: Jesus was taking a risk. She could have laughed at him. She could have argued with him. She could have walked away in dismissal, even if still wondering how Jesus found out about her background of having five husbands.

Because we know the rest of the story, we know she went to her city, proclaiming that she may have met the Messiah. Through her story, many followed Jesus. But it all started because Jesus was willing to risk sharing His identity.

5) Jesus Invested in the Community

The story of the Samaritan woman doesn’t end with her going back to her village. A few verses later we see the Samaritans asking Jesus to stay with them. Jesus moved quickly from place to place, but for two days—a long time for Jesus—he stayed in a land forbidden to Jews.

Simply put, Jesus stuck around to invest in the community. While there, “many believed because of His word.”

In today’s chaotic world, we can become overwhelmed with the news of the day, believing society’s problems are too big, too complex to solve. They aren’t.

As we serve those who come in our door, we know that—regardless of our color—we will serve those who don’t look like us or believe like we do. Differing backgrounds often create differing world views.

Jesus is our example for how we approach these situations. First, He went out of his way to find those different from Him. From there, He started a conversation, didn’t leap in to take a side when a tough subject came up, risked transparency . . . and He invested in a community which was not His own.

And, He changed the world.

by Kirk Walden, Advancement Specialist
Heartbeat International

by Jennifer Wright, Editor/Writer
Heartbeat International

It’s been a rough year so far, and this summer hasn’t really been one for traveling. Together, these make for a challenging time with those vacation days. What do you do when you can’t tell if Disney will be open or not?

For a lot of us, vacation might end up being at home this time. Fortunately, I’ve had a little bit of experience with staying home vacations and retreats. Here are a few things I’ve learned that I can share with you.

1) Take the time off.

It’s really easy if you are (or have been) working from home to never stop working. The first thing to make a vacation work, especially if it has to be a home, is to keep it from feeling like work.

Set aside a long weekend, a day, or even just a few hours to be completely off work. Don’t check emails, don’t answer office phone calls, don’t even text a coworker to check in. Use that vacation time!

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re going to be away for a while, you don’t need to make it impossible to reach you. If you are in a position where you might need to be aware of something right away, it’s reasonable to make yourself available, but do it in a specific way that doesn’t force you into a rabbit-hole of work emails and follow-ups. Give your coworkers a single way to contact you that you will be responding to, and stick to it.

2) Do something you never have time to do.

Once you’re out of a work mindset, it can be hard to find something to do. The temptation is to do something you already do in your off time. (For me, that means zoning out to Star Trek reruns.) But if all you do in your time off is something routine, there’s no vacation.

That park around the corner with all the hiking trails you never have time to explore? Take a day to explore the trails. The recipe you’ve always wanted to try, but it could take you 4 hours to make? Break it out. Those paints on the top shelf of the closet that you don’t get out because it makes a mess? Paint a picture. That book you haven’t picked up off the nightstand in months? Crack it open and read.

Do something that makes you feel creative, engaged, and alive.

3) Step away from the screens.

There are healthy ways to engage with the screens in our lives. We can connect with loved ones far away, watch tutorials on things we want to learn to do, communicate quickly and effectively, and more, but sometimes, we need to close them all down for a while and spend time elsewhere.

If your mini-vacation is a day, take 4 hours to be completely unplugged. If it’s a few days, see if you can take a full 12 hours. A week? Try just a few waking hours each day.

It doesn’t always have to happen all at once, but taking time out to be completely without the internet, the computer, the television, the smart phone, and the world of digital media, is more relaxing than you might imagine.

The impact of something as pervasive in our lives as screens is difficult to gage because we never get away from them. Spend a little time without screens, if for no other reason, to see how it makes you feel. I have found it to be incredibly refreshing.

4) Pray in a new way.

I don’t know what your daily prayer routine looks like, but I do know mine gets stale from time to time. That’s when I know I need to try something new. That’s when I’ll pray in a different space, with a new devotional book, or with a different approach.

Consider taking an hour for imaginative prayer. Read a passage from the Bible that you know well, but instead of reading it from afar, put yourself in the passage. Read Psalm 23 and imagine the table prepared before you by the Lord. Read the story of Christ’s death and imagine yourself at the foot of the cross. Read Acts of the Apostles and imagine yourself helping to build the early Church from scratch.

Or go somewhere new to pray. Take a walk to talk with God about creation. Make a new space in your home to sit, kneel, or stand in to pray. Light a candle. Add a piece of religious art (maybe even something you created yourself).

A new approach to prayer can send you back into the fray refreshed and reconnected with the things that really matter. And for me, that’s what I really want from a vacation – to feel ready to come back to where I was.

So that’s my plan for my summer vacation this year: take time off, do something out of the ordinary, unplug for a while, and pray in a new way. What will your vacation look like?

by Chet Scott, Built to Lead

Courage, it’s been said by many, is really the first of the virtues because without it none of the others may be evoked. Today, I ripped my client a new one because he was caught in the downward spiral of blaming the King for his plight. You see, he sees his partner as his King. Most of us humans see someone in our work/life as THE man and cower in fear. My client needed a lesson in courage, so I gave him one and it was not nice. I used some colorful language to get his attention and asked him if wanted to be led around for the next thirty years like a miniature mouse, or did he want to learn how to stand like a man. We ended our practice with him deciding it was time to man up and simply stand.

Most of us need to learn how to stand.

Standing does not mean you get even, angry, or even whole as a result. Standing means you simply live your core and release the catastrophic fear around the outcome. You and I will someday die. Make it a good one when it’s time. Do not go out begging for more time, another chance, or whimpering/complaining about your King. Go out like Tecumseh, singing your song.

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion, respect others in their view, and demand they respect yours. Love your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise one to fools and robs the spirit of vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s knowing and loving someone/something just a little bit more. More love is the enabler of courage. More love.

Live hard. Love harder. Good…

This blog post originally appeared at the Built to Lead blog. We are grateful to have this executive coaching program that has trained CEOs, presidents, and ministry leaders nationwide guide our Leadership Track at Pregnancy Help Institute each year. Join Chet, his team, and us for this year's unique virtual experience of Pregnancy Help Institute!

by Beth Diemert, Ministry Services Specialist
Heartbeat Internaitonal

As The Pregnancy Help Institute 2020 New Director track is quickly approaching, it is only natural to reflect back to my own journey as a new Executive Director and remember the path I walked. All these years later (we won’t mention it being 30!) I am so thankful for the blessing it is to realize, that though “I didn’t know what I didn’t know” the Lord had me and led me every step of the way. If asked now, what would I suggest to that young director me, here’s what I would say.

A Letter to my 20Something New Director Self,

 I am writing to you from the future, a place of time and distance that provides a great deal of perspective. I’d like to share some wisdom I’ve learned with you. I hope through the rear view mirror, I can help you see 5 key things that will help you blaze that trail you were meant to forge, and fulfill your destiny!

1. Trust the Lord (John 15:5)

You are about to embark on the greatest journey on the planet. It will be a wild adventure! Picture this: When the Indiana Jones “rope swing” vine presents itself to provides a way across the wide cavern, in the dense jungle, jump on, hold on, and swing to the other side. Abide! Squeeze as tight as you can and let it take you there. It is the sole purpose for its existence. You can’t get there on your own! Don’t even try. And remember, the fruit you will taste on the other side is sweeter than you can ever imagine!

2. Acknowledge Your Calling (Isaiah 61:1-4)

There can be no doubting. No self-talk that says, “Who Me?” No thinking that any day now, the board is going to call and say, “We’ve made a mistake.” You need to be 100% convinced and committed to “God chose me!” Know and believe that Lord searched the world over and picked you to do this job with purpose.

3. Get Good Training & Find Great Mentors (Colossians 3:16)

So much of what you need is already out there. Take advantage of it and don’t waste time reinventing the wheel. Gain knowledge and be a life-long learner. Connect with those who want to be there for you, provide a sounding board, build you up, and encourage you. We need each other! Don’t ever consider this a weakness. It is how you are designed.

4. Pursue Your Passion (Esther 4:13-16)

Those hopes and dreams inside of you were put there by a loving Father. Pursuing your passion wholeheartedly can have life-changing outcomes for many. And always know that God is only good. Trust his leading, even if it looks in the natural to be crazy! Go for it!  If you struggle here, refer to #1.

5. Enjoy the Journey (John 10:10)

Do not let fear or worry steal from you. Don’t dim what God has intended for your life by playing it safe. Take the mercy that is new every morning, care for yourself along the way, and delight in every good gift. This is the abundant life and you can live it. Oh, the places you’ll go!

You can do this. God is with you. Believe me. I remember.

Servants of Excellence

And after that, He went out, and noticed a tax-gatherer named Levi, sitting in the tax office, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he left everything behind, and rose and began to follow him. - Luke 5:27-28

The calling of Matthew is as simple as it gets. In Luke’s account, Jesus is only passing by Matthew’s office when he says, “Follow me.” That’s it. From there, Matthew hops up and follows. Easy, right?

But wait a minute. Why did Matthew follow? No one this side of Heaven knows for sure.

We know only one piece of information on Matthew, that he was a tax collector. On the plus side, tax collecting was lucrative work, because tax gatherers like Matthew normally extracted more from the taxpayer than the owed amount. They kept the extra drachmas and denarii for themselves. This practice didn’t win friendships, but it certainly paid the bills.

by Mary Peterson, Housing Specialist
Heartbeat International

Many housing programs are exploring the topic of emotional intelligence, or "EQ", helping the mothers to identify and name their emotions. "So many of our residents are emotionally raw," Kathleen Miller of Living Grace Home described, "they don't realize that their emotional responses may be keeping them in a bad cycle." One of the principles of EQ is that emotions show up in our heart, head, and body. To experience healing in those areas, emotions have to be recognized and addressed. "The residents know sad, mad, angry, happy," Beckie Perez of 29:Eleven Maternity Home expressed, "but, when they have more descriptive words for their feelings, they can see them more clearly." She continued, "As the saying goes, 'name it to tame it'. We want the moms to respond with purpose and control rather than impulsively."

One such teaching resource comes from Angie May, the trainer and coach of Kairos Koaching. She has developed a presenter's guide, worksheets, and informational cards as a tool for homes to use to introduce the practical skills associated with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. "It's a practical model that gives usable tools for organizations and can be a game changer in meeting the real needs of women," she described. The model focuses on four key areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal skills.

"Not all programs can have a therapist on staff," she reflected. "This program allows clients to build life skills based on the therapeutic model of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy but using the existing staff." Lynnette Carter from Living Hope Centers agrees, "We were struggling to help our residents learn these skills without a professional counselor on staff. This content helped us figure out a critical piece that we were missing."  

An example of one skill that May teaches is strengthening "wisemind" in residents. May summed up the concept saying, "Wisemind is combining the emotional mind and the reasonable mind in the present moment for good decision-making." It involves an emphasis on staying in the moment, the place where healing happens. Many of the tools she advocates for are related to identifying strategies in advance -- for example, having a distraction plan when overwhelming emotion hits or having an idea on how to handle distressing situations.

Angie May did a webinar outlining the content for Heartbeat.  If you are interested in learning more about her approach, check out the recording of her webinar (remember to log in for your affiliate discount!) or connect with Angie at KairosKoaching.com.  To jumpstart a conversation on Emotional Intelligence, join the National Maternity Housing Coalition Facebook group.

by Chet Scott, Built to Lead

Do not forget these guiding truths for leaders who are leading anything in a time of crisis.

Great leadership understands the complexities of their system and has crystal clarity of their overarching vision, their aim. Great leadership knows why it matters and lives their purpose with passion, patience, and relentless pursuit of excellence. Great leadership has five to ten unifying strategies that make the complex understandable and actionable. Great leadership focuses themselves and their teams on clear, concise, direct PA (productive action).

During crisis, leader, remember to understand all the complexities in and around your system. Be a master at making the complex on top, simple on bottom. Master clear, concise, direct communications. Humans hear horribly in crisis so keep it simple when talking with them. “Stop this. Focus here. Never stop attacking.” Anybody can make the complex complicated. Your job is to take the complex and make it simple for your team to act. Ambiguity is the enemy. Clarity is key. Make sense?

Live hard. Love harder…

Chet Scott is part of the Built to Lead Team. Built to Lead works with the Leadership Track at Pregnancy Help Institute each summer. This article originally appeared here at the Built to Lead blog.